it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
