4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
