Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
