I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
