nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
