Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
