Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
