I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
