Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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