Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I pour the whiskey from now on
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
