who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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