I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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