yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
