You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
