the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize