Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
