i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
