can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize