and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
