I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
