'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Fuck appropriateness.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
