She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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