your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
