I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
