You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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