i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Houston, we have a blender
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
