This dress was meant to end up on your floor
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize