so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize