Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
