chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
