i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
