u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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