wakey wakey hands off snakey
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
