return my video game
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
