I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
