i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
