these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
