I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
