Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize