New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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