I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
