my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
