and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
