I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
