Say something about gay babies.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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