It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
