Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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