I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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