Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
