So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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