You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.