Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
