My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.