i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This show inspires me to have sex in space
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
