she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
