I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
