So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize