Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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