Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Pooping to opera.
Randomize